Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
