She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
