After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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