I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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