I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
