he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
