Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
