No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
