He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize