So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
