I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
