I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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