so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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