Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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