May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
