cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
