I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
