and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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