we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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