Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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