She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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