duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
