WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
