if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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