your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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