Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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