I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize