Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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