similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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