in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
thus making me awesome and them whores
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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