It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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