you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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