shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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