booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
