I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
