real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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