her vagine was all disorganized.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
