They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
