Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
