Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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