mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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