Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
