I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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