my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
