Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
