Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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