If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So much rum. So many feels.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
