the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
