To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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