Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize