Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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