Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
