You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
