Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
