I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
