you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A+ Viking dick
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
