Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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