put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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