Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
