He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
